Nullus Anxietas 7 End of Early Bird Pricing 12 August
Listen up Postal Delivery Candidates
Right you lot, there's quite a few things to get through so quiet down out the back there and listen up. That includes you- yes, you with the nose there.
If you haven’t got tickets yet, what are you waiting for! Do you know that Early Bird prices end on August 12? Are you made of money!  If you think you're going to be going, then go get your self at least a supporting membership! That way when you finally decide to get yourself organised you've locked in the cheap rate. Go to the website to get the details and sign up.
Next. I understand that some of you who are going to the convention want to have somewhere to sleep. Ha! Back when I was a junior postman we would just stuff ourselves in the locker for 15 minutes and thought ourselves lucky. But if you find yourselves wanting a room or go even more posh and get a room with a bed, then you can contact our venue, Mantra Bell City, Preston. If you talk to them and tell them you're there for the Discworld Convention you'll get... what did they say, hang on, I've got it written down here... '10% off our best available rate and that's cuttin' our throat' Finally, I've been told by official folks in charge that I should not spill beans about things. So I am not going to tell you that in addition the Maskarade and Talent  acts, there is also to be a prop competition where people can exhibit some of the Discworld themed bits and bobs what they've made. Got that? Don't put your creativity to work in making awesome costumes, acts or objects on my account. Right? 
Well that's enough of me talking, time for you lot to get back to work. Someone nudge Smithers, his snoring is going to knock the ink pots over.
And in case you didn't get the message here's Mr Pump.
 Of course if you are made of money and would like to give lots of it away then carry on.
 Well Talent-ish
 Heh heh, I'm going to get a prize this year, I know it!