Viewing posts for the category Australian Discworld News
Well, now, ducks, pull up a chair. Mind where you park your broom and your bottom. Oops. Don't mind him, he's just a big old softie1.
Broomsticks and Cauldrons is bubbling away again, and it wouldn't do to let it boil over unattended. There's been a deal of stirring since last we spoke - some of it with spoons, some of it with elbows - and I can't say as I'm surprised. Witches, after all, are like a good pot of tea: best eyed with suspicion, liable to improve with age, and inclined …
Greetings from the desk of Miss Tick, and a Happy Hogswatch to you all.
As any sensible witch knows - though sensible witches are regrettably rarer than one might hope - there comes a time in the turning of the seasons when even a well-behaved broom begins to twitch with impatience, and the cauldron develops opinions of its own.
This is usually a sign that the world is up to something again. Therefore, in the interest of preparedness (and avoiding the sort of surprises that ruin good boots), I present …
Good day.
It has come to my attention that the latest issue of Broomsticks and Cauldrons - a publication which continues, against all odds and editorial restraint, to exist - has found its way into your hands. One might reasonably ask why. Perhaps you seek knowledge. Perhaps you are merely curious. Or perhaps, most concerning of all, you believe yourself to be a practitioner of the arcane arts.
Whatever the case, and as Miss Tick has stepped away from her desk, it is my duty - as it so often is - to remind you that magic, …
Right, listen up, ye fine broom-ridin' bonnie bunch! 'Tis yer wee pal Rob Anybody 'ere, scribblin' this missive wi' the grace o' a hedgehog on roller skates an' the spelling skills o' a ship wi' a quill (an' believe me, we tried that once - dinnae ask). Now then, we've got tales tae tell, spells tae sling, an' a sale on cauldrons big enough tae fit a ship, if ye're daft enough tae try cookin' one whole - not that we'd recommend it, mind, unless the ship deserved …
Roll up, roll up! Fresh off the back of a donkey and only slightly cursed - Broomsticks and Cauldrons, the finest (and only!) magical newsletter this side of the Shades! Perfect for witches, wizzards, or anyone what's ever shouted at a teacup!
Only five dollars,1 a lock of hair, and one minor soul promise! Comes pre-hexed and wrapped in ethically questionable parchment. Smells faintly of regret.
From the desk of Miss Perspicacia Tick, with the help of C.M.O.T Dibbler, included in this issue:
